Destinations the whole family will love!

Get the holiday spirit—yes, it’s time to share every small demand and make the entire family try to accommodate…

This was originally written for Cookie, but didn’t make it before the poor Cookie crumbled and the publication folded. Please send me your holiday survival tips and I’ll post them! 

 

The holidays are always a bit of tricky détente. How to keep your parents and in-laws happy, keep somewhat to your kids normal routing, keep your sanity, all while making the days merry and bright.

Here’s the big secret: Lower your expectations.

Not your expectations that you won’t be happy to spend time with family—maybe it’s family you don’t get to see that often, or maybe it’s just a chance to spend time with family that’s not crunched into a 48-hour weekend—but just keep in mind that’s the most and only important thing.

It’s not the gifts, or the decorations or the perfect pie. It’s just being with family and friends and being happy for the gift of family. All the other stuff is just stage dressing that will distract you (if you let it) from the main drama.

So, now that the zen-like philosophy is over, some more practical tips to the whole ‘keeping your sanity and somewhat to the kids schedule’.

• Who visits where?
Think practically. Who has the most room? The most enthusiasm? I’m always for hosting at my house because I love to host, but I realized that I can’t host all the time. So now I pick one holiday of the year and claim it for my own. Then I let go of trying to control the others and just pitch in and help.
And if I do host a holiday gathering, I concentrate on setting the scene…cleaning and some décor before hand, and then assign other family members tasks. One gets appetizers; one is in charge of desert. That way I can concentrate on getting all type-A about just getting my house in order and orchestrating it all.

• Around the holidays, speed is life
During the summer we’re all competing for travel time over the space of 3 months or so; around the holidays that all condenses down to 2 days to 2 weeks. Plus, it’s mainly pretty cold. Skip the scenic route (which is going to be crowded pretty much any where you’re traveling) and instead, keep your travel time to a minimum. Save more time for the short and sweet holiday visits.
A few other travel tips:
-It sounds obvious, but avoid traveling on the really heavy traffic days around the holidays. Just imagine when you would book your airline tickets if no one else was traveling and if price was not an issue and then avoid those days like the plague. Two days after Thanksgiving? Are you out of your mind? Of course everyone’s going to want to fly those days. How about flying on Christmas day instead? I know it’s a little unorthodox, but I once celebrated with my family in the South on Christmas morning, then flew a fairly uncrowded (and inexpensive) late-morning flight and had a lovely Christmas dinner with my husband’s family that early evening. And everyone in the airport was in the holiday spirit and acted actually pretty friendly for a change.

• Childproofing
‘Childproofing’ is such a relative term. It can range from, “There are outlet covers and locks on every cabinet”, to “I didn’t realize she could open a bottle of nail polish remover”, so go into any home environment prepared.
I have no qualms when it comes to childproofing someone else’s home. I am of the school that if you give a kid a drawer or two that they can go into, they won’t be so curious about the rest. Identify those areas in your family’s home, make them your own by removing any un-safe objects and then tie a string/rubberband/twist tie around any cabinets that you deem really unsafe. Again, just redirecting them to the one you’ve filled with sippy cups, plastic spoons and Tupperware will probably keep them occupied, but if not, send Grandpa out of the house to find or make some childproofing gadgetry. He’ll probably be thankful for the distraction, and so will you.

• Speaking of Sending People Places…
Make sure you have access to a vehicle. One that you can put car seats in (if your child needs them). One of the best ways to ensure a peaceful vacation is to make sure that there is an exit route in place. Even if that exit is a temporary one. Even if it’s for you, and you leave your two screaming children and scared spouse alone with your parents for an hour while you have a ‘time out’ alone in the car down a depressing side street listening to bad FM radio. Or you and the whole family has to run ‘an errand’ together just to get your family away from Second Cousin Richard’s scary family for thirty minutes. Or until they leave. I know that a rental car is yet another expense, but the peace of mind it affords really doesn’t have a price tag. Or better yet, commandeer your sister’s (extra) car, just like you did in high school.

• The Exit Plan Pt 2
A great way to save some money during the holidays is to stay with relatives. A great way to save your relationship with your sister is to get a hotel.
If I’m staying for anymore than three days and I’m not sure that staying en famille is going to be smooth sailing, I’ll book a hotel room. I’ve often cancelled (make sure they have a 24-hour cancellation policy), but it’s nice to know it’s there. The newly remodeled Holiday Inn Expresses are actually pretty darn nice (sans-serif fonts on all the bath products, nice pillows and they’ve subdued the granny-charm a bit) and I’ve seen some remodels for the new Red Roof Inns. But just remember—sharing a hotel room with the entire family is no cakewalk either. At least at the family home you can hide in dad’s man cave if you need a break.

-One Present, Please
We’ve been doing the gift exchange at both families now for several years. It was a little tougher to instill with my mother-in-law who one year, after I suggested it again, told me, “You’re not going to tell me how to celebrate my Christmas.” (And I didn’t. At least not that year. Anyway, it goes like this, all the adults pull names after Thanksgiving to find out who’ll they’ll be buying their one gift for, and all the adults or families can buy one gift per child. It cuts down on the insanity and how much you have to lug back home. Actually, having to travel has saved me from taken a lot of stuff back home like the rickety outdoor patio set for the kids and the ceramic (read shatters on the first drop) mugs that were just too much to pack back in our 3 hour car ride home.

………………………
photo credits: images from FLASH.PRO

HAVE A TIP TO SURVIVING THE HOLIDAYS? SEND IT IN